Time for a rant.

Take it or leave it from someone like me, who is certain her current significant other is "the one". You can either say that I don't have the life experience; that I'm too young, or that I am so in love I'm rushing, or that because it's only my second relationship I'm in no position to give this kind of advice. However, I assure you, these words are not my own. These are words that we've all heard over and over again and today, I wish to expound on them because it's about time somebody did.

I believe that love today has become something it was never meant to be. Romantic relationships and even relationships neighbor to neighbor have been warped and twisted. Before you fear that I'm perhaps going into a "Hell-fire and brimstone" sermon that could possibly involve preaching against gay marriage and fornication, keep reading. I'm not. I'm simply saying that in many relationships around me (including my own), romantic or not, I have seen that love is in danger of becoming something we do for ourselves--that it is an object to be won. These are just a few of many statements that we've all heard said aloud from either our friends or ourselves regarding our dating lives.

"I just want to be happy."
"I deserve to find someone that will make me nothing but happy."
"He's just not that attractive."
"I don't know, I like him, but [insert incredibly petty reason here]."

We've all said these things. I've said these things.
But when I was single, in between my first relationship and my current one, which I believe is "it", I came to a few realizations that are not, in fact, revolutionary:

There is always going to be someone funnier. There's always going to be someone with better taste, better looks. There will always be someone that's richer, smarter, or more talented.
It seems like when we're on the quest to find our soulmate we have these lists of requirements or preferences. Question: When did searching for a life partner become a contest to find the best for ourselves? When did this mission to find our other half become to satisfy ourselves and our own needs? Not only is it unrealistic, but its selfish. Who are WE to expect our source of happiness and satisfaction to come from just mere human beings, when they are just that: humans. Especially when all WE are, are humans.

"Love does not seek its own." 1 Corinthians 13:5.

Love has become painful because we have unrealistic expectations of romantic relationships, mostly thanks to love songs, romcoms, and the media, all portraying of what it should look, feel, and sound like; and what we should get out of it. But that's the problem: we should not be loving to receive, but loving to give. Love should be about the other person. Not about yourself.

This does not mean, however, that we should not have standards. Instead, this is what we should be asking:

Have you found your best friend? Someone who puts his/her faith and love in God, who you can be yourself around, who loves you just as you are, someone you can trust with everything, who will protect you, and who is willing to commit to you? These are what matter.
If you believe this is the person the Lord has brought to you, don't let them go because you yourself are too prideful, or too frustrated. Everyone will disappoint you at some point. Everyone has days where they are downright unlovable--that's right--including you. You cannot give up on someone because they are not exactly what you expected. Because nothing ever is.

And this, this is a promise. When you have finally found that person that you cannot give up on, it doesn't matter how attractive they are, or smart they are, or how talented they are. Because the scales you used to measure those things previously will alter when you meet them. To you, they will be beautiful. To you, you will listen to the words from their minds speak directly to your heart. And when they sing, it won't matter how good it is, because it's coming from their mouth.

Pray for this person. And when you've found them, don't ever let them go.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast.
It is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self seeking,
Love keeps no record of wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13